my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
