some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
