Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
