Having a random hookup so left but love u
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
