I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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