i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
