She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
