Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
