Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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