didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
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MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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