update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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