she woke up with a sticky ear
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
