and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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