ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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