so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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