We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sext me about skeletons
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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