I feel great
I just peed on a car
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
