she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
