Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
