dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
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The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
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He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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