so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
