Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Let's paint friendship bongs
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
