Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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