Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize