Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
