I bet he comes in French.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
