if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
