his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
