I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
