remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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