If i come over, it means nothing
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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