How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
