You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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