1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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