she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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