So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class