i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
love makes seman taste better
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?