I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
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No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.