the day after is always just damage control
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.