He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading