HIV tests are more positive than that guy
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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