she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
