so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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