your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
