We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
