i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
