Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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