Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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