If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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