Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish costco sold astroglide.

(248): View more from Michigan

i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs

(609): View more from New Jersey

hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks

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(949): View more from California

In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.

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(425): View more from Washington

"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!

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