Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

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(516): View more from New York

Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice

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(561): View more from Florida

Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.

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(310): View more from California

He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(269): View more from Michigan

We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable

(678): View more from Georgia

not having any beer money sounds even more miserable

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(816): View more from Missouri

this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?

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(971): View more from Oregon

no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"

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(913): View more from Kansas

How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?

(1-913): View more from Kansas

WHO DOES THAT

(913): View more from Kansas

I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.

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