My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic