Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
