U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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