he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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