If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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