I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
