The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
