He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize