gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just found a bag of teeth...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
