it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The best revenge is premature balding
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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