My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
