it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
