I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
