where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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