i may or may not be watching the land before time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
