Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize